Tretyakov Gallery and Making the Burrito of Russia

Last Wednesday we went to the Tretyakov Gallery. This place is full of beautiful classical Russian art. Alas, no pictures could be taken there. The front of the gallery is littered with giant painted eggs, each being their own beautiful work of art. As I wrote in my last entry, Russians are very fond of their icons and I was excited to see something other than icons (although we did end up going to the basement where they have more. Surprise!). It was really interesting to see how Russian art developed from icons to paintings of the west. There are some pretty awesome things in there, and while our guide was very informative she went faster than I would have enjoyed.

One of the Gallery's most famous painting is this one of Alexander Pushkin by Kiprensky. It has it's own spotlight making it glow among all the other paintings. Pushkin liked the painting and said that he thought it represented himself better than looking in a mirror. This means that Pushkin's mutton chops were just as awesome in person. Men should take note.

One of the most amazing paintings there is The Appearance of Christ to the People by Alexander Ivanov. This painting is giant and takes up the entire wall of the gallery, with sketches of various characters on the surrounding walls. St. John the Baptist standing there is life size in person. It's absolutely nuts. Ivanov took 20 years to paint it and nobody liked it until he died. Poor guy. The following are also famous paintings/paintings I like.

Kuinji. They thought this guy was using phosphorous in
his paints to achieve this. I think he saw too much of the green fairy.

Shishkin's Morning in a Pine Forest. The children love this
painting because the bears are on bars of chocolate.

Gay's What is Truth? I'm not a religious person, but
this painting is really striking and philosophical.

Bogatyri by Vasnetsov. Their eyes supposedly
 follow you around the room.

This was my absolute favorite by Vorobiev.

After the Gallery many of the people in my group were going to the Conservatory to listen to classical music. I like classical music, but I didn't feel much like going, so I didn't. Instead me and two other people went to Gorky Park because my guide book says that there was a space ship you could crawl inside there. The USSR lost funding for the program behind the rocket and just put it in a random park. I like what Russia does with their things. Gorky Park is being renovated, but the spaceship was there. There was a rope attached to the door, but no ladder. If I had any climbing skills, and there wasn't a camera attached to the damn thing, I would have jumped on this thing like a spider monkey.

It might have lost funding because it was built out of Legos.

After that we we up close to the much hated statue of Peter the Great.

Don't worry, it's much uglier in person.

Didn't really do much until Saturday. I went with a guy from the group to Victory Park where there's a tank museum (he loves that shit(. You had to pay extra to take pictures at the open air museum, so of course I didn't take pictures. They had some sweet ass military planes, a giant railroad tank, cars, and of course TANKS. The entire park is littered here and there with monuments dedicated to Russia defeating Nazi Germany in what's known here as The Great Patriotic War, and also to the defeat of Napoleon. Russia is just so big it absorbs any attack thrown at it.

This pic would be so awesome if I knew
how to crop it. 

We then went to Dom Knigi (House of Books). It's huge and I wanted to read some Russian Literature since I haven't really read any. I picked up The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky. After learning I was going to Russia, one of my philosophy professors recommended the book for it's philosophical content. It also happens to be one of Dostoyevsky's longest. After reading the first chapter I've already been struck with a quote.

В большинстве случаев люди, даже злодеи, гораздо наивнее и простодушнее, чем мы вообще о них заключаем. Да и мы сами тоже.

As a general rule, people, even the wicked, are much more naïve and simple-hearted than we suppose. And we ourselves are, too.

After that I went home and decided to go out with other people in our group to a night club. That club ended up being closed so we ended up going to another one called Propaganda (ironically named). In Moscow, the metro closes at 1 AM and opens up again at 6 AM. We met up at 11:30 PM. We stayed out allllll night. It had to happen at least once. I was a little bored at Propaganda because 1. Tessa doesn't like to dance. And 2. No one would dance/talk to me. We have been jokingly blaming this on my babushka who blessed me before I left the house. Gotta love those babushkas.

Yesterday I learned how to make blini! My host's niece Dasha, who is the sweetest person in the world, told me she would teach me how. For those of you who don't know what a blini is, it's a really really thing pancake. It could be compared to a crepe BUT IT'S NOT! It's still fluffy! It's a pancrepe (crepcake?). They eat blini with everything. They roll it up and put caviar, meat, cheese, chocolate, whatever you want into this thing. It's the burrito of Russia.

It's more difficult to make than it seems. First you take some eggs and beat the shit out of them. She told me I had to do it forever because it was my first time, but Jesus it was torture. Then you add salt and sugar to the eggs. Then you add in some milk, beat the shit some more, add some flour AND DO NOT BEAT IT! If you beat it too fast the flour clumps (or something). After that add baking soda, lemon, and oil, beat it some more, and your ready to put this on a hot pan. You have to take the pan off the burner and spread the batter around so it's as smooth as possible. I'm not very good at it because my wrists hate me (I blame working at Walmart). Then you have to use your Spidey Senses to know when the blini is ready to be flipped. She had me make the entire thing and they were freaking delicious. Dasha thinks that I have the blini sense and can feel when it needs to be flipped. She's probably being nice, but I'll take it. Dasha claims there will be a next time where I'm going to make blini all by myself. Challenge accepted Dasha. Challenge deliciousness accepted. Do svedanya bitches. 

Cosmonauts, a television tower, and Russian Orthodox Easter

Hello, there

Saturday I went to the Cosmonaut Museum in Moscow. We conversation hour with Russians learning English. They told us about Cosmonauts day, which was April 12 (the day Yuri Gagarin orbited the Earth) and they invited us to go to the Cosmonaut Museum. This is one of the things that I really, really wanted to go to. I'm fascinated with space and think the history behind Soviet space programs and the Space Race in general is very interesting. Yes, I'm a nerd.

One half of Cosmonaut Alley

Yuri Gagarin, so noble

Coolest thing ever!

 The outside of the museum is absolutely spectacular. There's a sculpture garden type thing outside called Cosmonaut Alley that is so cool. There's this monument called Monument to the Conquers of Space that is absolutely amazing. It's a rocket going off into space made of titanium. It's giant, and surrounding it are sculptures of cosmonauts like Yuri Gagarin (first man to orbit the earth) and Valentina Tereshkova (the first woman in space, and still alive), and rocket engineers. I want to go back to this place and troll around later, it's so cool.

Monument inside the museum

 I was more impressed with the outside than the inside. First of all, almost everything was in Russian. I can read Russian, but not technical shit. The inside didn't have Vostok 1, which Yuri Gagarin flew, or Vostok 6 which Valentina flew, or their original suits. In fact, they had almost nothing of Valentina's. All that shit is apparently at the RKK Energiya Museum for some reason (probably will make a trip there some weekend). It did have a copy of Sputnik 2, which flew Laika, (the first dog into space), and  Strelka and Belka, the first dogs that flew into space and lived. That was probably what I was most excited about. Fun fact about Strelka, she had pups and one named Pushinka was given to JFK's daughter Caroline as a gift. This dog mated with their other dog Charlie and they had 4 puppies. They were jokingly called pupniks by JFK.

Belka and Strelka in their taxidermied forms with
their rocket, Korabl-Sputnik-2

One of the only real things in the whole museum.

They also had an exhibit about the Apollo-Soyuz test mission where the US and USSR docked space ships in space. There was some commemorative bench about it(not cool) that I really wanted to sit on, but wasn't allowed. There was only one real thing in the entire museum and I really don't know what it was. They had many different suits the astronauts used, described the different tests they did in space, and had different mockups of different shuttles.

Traditional cosmonaut suit

and the hottest space suit ever.

Afterwards, we went to an authentic Ukranian restaurant. DELICIOUS. I was fed so much food. It is a Russian tradition to feed you as much as humanly possible, and then pay for it all. We were fed borsht, which is a Ukrainian soup very popular in Russia. It's made with beets, vegetables, and bacon. It's the most delicious soup I've ever eaten, and I hate soup. Then we made three different bowls of dumplings called varenyky. First an assortment filled with cabbage, potatoes, mushrooms, and fish. The next bowl was filled with various meats, and the next with various fruits. We also had kvass, which is kind of like a caramel apple in a cup. All this, along with pickled vegetables and three different kinds of bread, I was stuffed. 

Next we went to the tallest building in Europe called the Ostankino tower. It's 1,772 ft tall and has more security than an airport. Getting into this tower is so much harder than getting into Sears Tower. We had to get tickets, which required our passports. We got this little ID card and headed to security. We went through metal detectors and had our bags go through security. After this we got our passports scrutinized by an official and we were finally allowed inside. The view up top was pretty sweet, but with all the smog it was hard to see everything you should be able to see. They also have glass floors in one section, which scared the shit out of me. There's no way in hell you could get me to stand on that thing. 

After going socializing for so long, and having been up since 8 AM I finally got home at 8:15 PM. I bought my babushka roses along the way (giving flowers for any occasion is very Russian) and she loved them. Orthodox Easter (called пасха) services are held at midnight Sunday morning/Saturday night, but I was too tired to go and I fell asleep. This morning I awoke at nine and finally rolled out of bed around ten. My babushka gave me the traditional Easter greeting of Христос воскрес, meaning Christ has risen, and I replied with Воистину воскрес, meaning Indeed he has risen. She kissed me on the cheek three times and made me drink 'sand water'. She then took this water and began to bless the Easter food, her niece Dasha, herself, and I with it. Yay for wet food. Easter food consists of a cake called Kuhlich, and hard-boiled eggs. 

Kuhlich

Kuhlich is a delicious cake that's made to look like the shape of Golgotha. They put a candle in the center of the cake, light it and eat it. It has fruit in it and is very tasty. 

Traditional Russian Easter eggs are hard-boiled with onion skins in order to make them red. The color is supposed to represent the blood of Christ. There's also this game where you take the eggs and try to crack the other person's egg shell, but not your own. I've proven to be horrible at it, and mine broke the first try. We drank this special church wine and toasted. I asked them if they usually went to church, and they decided to take me to a traditional Russian Orthodox Church. I'm glad I went today instead of last night. Night services are absolutely packed with people and this church wasn't. We walked up to the simple church, which was made of logs with a golden onion dome on the top. I was a little surprised because I've never seen a log church before. We crossed ourselves before we went into the courtyard, where my babushka and Dasha bought candles, and some kind of plant with tufts of fluff on it. My babushka was trying to explain it to me and I think they're suppose to keep the plant for one year. Dasha wrote on a piece of paper her family members and friends names, and they will be read in church for good health. We crossed ourselves before entering the church, which was absolutely beautiful on the inside. The church was small and cozy with golden icons covering the walls. There are two rooms, a main room with the main icon of the church, and another room usually closed. My babushka explained how only on Easter do they open the door to show the altar and icons on the other side. She then explained most of the icons to me, and showed me the main icon of the church. She also took me to the icon of the Mary, let me light a candle, and put it in the candle holder. I'm so glad they took me, it was so nice to do something traditional with them. We exited the church and crossed ourselves again. Traditionally for Easter you're supposed to fast the week before and then stuff yourselves silly on Easter. I've never eaten so much food in my life. There was soup, fish salad, cucumber salad, chicken, potatoes, pickles, cheese and some kind of herb. Only THEN did we have ice cream and coffee for dessert. I definitely need to start taking the stairs to the ninth floor of my apartment with all this food I've been eating. They asked me later if I wanted dinner. Ladies, I could go a week without eating with the meal you just fed me! I said no thank you to the babushka (which is pretty rude) but Dasha came in and convinced me. I ate a little tvorog which is Russian cottage cheese. The best cheese ever, I wish they had it in the states. 

And now it's time for something I KNOW you've all been waiting for. 3D THOR!!!!!! (I finally remembered to stuff him in my satchel.)

Thor at the Space monument. He laughs at
human attempts to reach the Gods

"You silly humans can't reach the heights of the Gods!"

Until next time, Do svedanya bitches.

I've Only Been Here A Week?

 I swear I'm not meant to write a blog. But anyways...

I've recently been relocated. My babushka had to go to the hospital for something and I've been moved farther outside the city to a new lady named Svetlana. She's actually really nice and eats meals with me, which my previous host did not. It gets real awkward eating by yourself. She has her niece living with her who's my age, but I have yet to meet her. Svetlana is pretty chill, knows English, and is also a painter. She paints replicas of Picasso paintings and also paints other things. She's quite good. I'm excited to move farther outside of the city because it's less scary at night. I lived the closest to the center of the city, and I've seen some crazy shit. The only bad thing is that now I'm a lot farther from school. It's a 45 min metro ride in the morning, not to mention walking to the metro station. Blech. On the bright side, the weather in Russia is finally starting to turn for the best. Tomorrow is supposed to be 45 degrees, and then 55 the next! I got tickets to see Tchaikovsky's Cinderella and I'm super excited. One of my goals was to see Swan Lake, but it was way too expensive. As long as I see a Russian ballet by Tchaikovsky, I can live. We also got tickets to a hockey game final, and we are going to the Russian circus! I can't wait!

Since we've left off I've been to many places in Moscow. The Kremlin is actually a fortress, and the center of Moscow. We jokingly say that all roads lead to the Kremlin, because it seems no matter where we wander, we always find ourselves at the Kremlin. The Kremlin is actually genius in design. It's triangular in design, and back in the day two of the sides had rivers flowing by them. The walls are really thick, red and surround the entire thing. Next to it is Red Square where St. Basil's Cathedral and Lenin's Mausoleum reside. The Kremlin is home to government offices, churches (the Church of the Assumption, which is where all the tsars were coronated), the largest canon that never fired, and the largest bell that never rang.

The reason the bell (known as the Tsar bell) never rang was because there was a fire in Moscow, the metal got hot, and a chunk fell off. The bell was commission by Empress Anne, niece of Peter the Great. All tsars had their own ceremonial bells, and It was a tradition for tsars to have bigger bells than their predecessors. In my opinion Empress Anne was making up for something she lacked. If you look up Empress Anna's Wikipedia article you will learn some interesting things about her. She loved to ring the fire bells of St. Petersburg to watch people freak out. She forced a marriage between two dudes and made them sit in a nest outside her door and squawk on their "wedding night". She arranged a marriage between two nobles who didn't like each other, and made them spend their wedding night in an ice palace. Needless to say, Empress Anna is one of my favorite tsars.

I've also recently (as in today) been to the Novodevichy Convent. This is the convent where tsars, such as Peter the Great or Feodor I, would send their wives when they were tired of them. When Peter the Great was trolling throughout Europe examining Western European culture, there was a revolt by his sister Sofia and some soldiers. Peter went home straight away, crushed the rebellion, and sent his sister to live in the convent. This was the richest church in Russia, it had an accounting office it was so rich. It's recently has become a functioning convent for nuns again after being stripped during Soviet times. Right next to this convent is a famous cemetery (also Novodevichy Cemetery), where anybody who's anybody in Russia is buried there. Among them are Chekhov, Gogol, Yeltsin and Stalin's wife. Then, along the other side of the convent is a lake where Tchaikovsky supposedly wrote Swan Lake. Inside the convent is very peaceful and tranquil. I honestly wouldn't mine going back there just to bathe in the tranquility of it. Moscow is so busy, yet this place is so peaceful.

One thing I would like to comment on the Russians is their love of Icon paintings. I swear everywhere you go there's icons. Icons are religious paintings. When all of west Europe was going through the Renaissance, Russia had their icons. It's usually a square, with a painting of some sort of saint in the middle, and then gold surrounding. They can be painted or sewed (sewn?). Russia's art movements were just really slow, so they are extremely proud of their icons. On every excursion we've been on we've seen icons. I'm about to have icon overload. Yes, they're beautiful and intricate, but there's only so much I can take. 

My classes with Vera have been interesting. I have History of Russia and Russian Literature. In Lit we've been reading Blok and talking about the Symbolist movement. Symbolists are all about shadows and essences, much like Plato's philosophical theories. I'm eating this shit up. Besides that, Russian poetry is absolutely beautiful. Russian history has always been interesting to me, so I'm also loving it. I'm hating my intensive Russian courses more and more each day. The class has everyone involved in a situation in which we were all on an airplane to Moscow and had to be redirected to Tula. My name is Clara Steine. I hate it. Our teacher won't let us leave Tula, yet we have to leave it. I get really frustrated, and I'm not even sure why. 

I need to go to bed so I can actually wake up in the AM and go to school. Until next time, do svedanya bitches.