The Week of No Sleep

This week has been intense. I've done so much stuff this week that I've been running around Moscow like a chicken with his head cut off. Friday I picked up my sister from the airport. I'd been freaking out all week about getting to the airport on time to pick her up and it was such a relief to finally see her. I took her to her hostel where she proceeded to nap and I went to class. Afterwards we went to my place to have dinner with my host and Dasha. She made a shit ton of food (no surprise). We ate mushroom soup, blini with fish, baklazhan (ratatoille), and a fish she called Dory seasoned perfectly with cheese and tomatoes on top. It was delicious. Then we ate coffee and ice cream. Then I took her home on the metro and came back. She was surprised to find out that the metro signs were all in Cyrillic.

Next day was Saturday. I had class from the long ass weekend and went to class while my sister did her own thing. After class I went to meet her at the hostel and we laid around until we went to Kafe Mart. Kafe Mart is classy restaurant that serves Georgian food among other things. She got dumplings while I had lamb stew with a martini. Georgian food puts sooo much pepper in your food that I was crying a little. Some of my friends came and we just talked about Moscow. Then we went back to the hostel and chilled out. We talked to this Romanian chick who was sooo stupid. She was born in Romania but lives in the UK. She told us how she went to the opera at the BOLSHOI TEATER wearing jeans and flip flops. I wanted to slap her.

Sunday we went to Izmailovsky Park. This basically a huge market where you can buy cheap souvenirs. They have everything you could think of there. I bought some awesome USSR cosmonaut propaganda posters, gifts, I'm going to go back and buy more shit. They have old USSR kopecks that I have my eye on. After that we went to a bar to talk, then went back to my place. My host made borsht, salad, baklazhan, a meat pie with egg and cabbage, then coffee and ice cream. Then to top it all off she made an apple strudel type thing for dessert after we were so full we couldn't do anything.

Monday we kinda walked around Red Square, didn't really do much of anything. I found a Kill Bill themed sushi place (I REALLY want to go). Tuesday I skipped class to play tour guide in the Kremlin. I guess I should explain the Kremlin some more because everyone, including me had this problem. Kremlin and Red Square are two separate things. The Kremlin is a fortress that's still around from ancient times and all ancient Russian cities have a Kremlin. Inside the Moscow Kremlin is where Putin works along with a bunch of churches from ancient times, the Armory, and palaces. Outside of the Kremlin in Red Square is where Lenin's mausoleum and St. Basil's is. They're not the same place like it sounds in our history books. We then went to see the Sound of Music (Звуки Музыки). I've had the soundtrack for the English move stuck in my head this entire trip and I knew I had to see it. It was really good. I absolutely loved it, and I bought a program which included a CD! I totally didn't put that on my Ipod as soon as I went home... I understood most of it, the only part I didn't understand were the musical numbers not in the movie. There was one where the village people came out with their faces painted red and danced around with Nazi's. I immediately looked at Alaina and said "I'm just as lost as you are." I thought it was interesting how they changed 'Do-Ray-Mi' to fit their language. For example it's not "Doe, a deer, a female deer." It's "Дом, наш дом, наш милый дом." Which literally translates into "House, our house, our sweet house." Afterwards we went to Pizza Express by her hostel and talked and I went home before the metro closed.

Wednesday afternoon we went to the GULAG museum. GULAG was a system of forced labor camps all across the Soviet Union. In 1940 there were 53 camps and 423 labor colonies. It was established in 1930, and with Stalin's death in 1953 most prisoners were freed in the decade. During this period  1,053,829 people died. It was finally liquidated in 1960. Many people were sent there by the NKVD (KGB). In the museum there were two floors. The top floor had artwork by/about GULAG victims and many items found in the labor camps. This excursion was also in Russian so I was zoning. On the bottom floor was a barrack that prisoners of the GULAG lived in, and also an exhibition about how the USSR would erase people from pictures on Stalin's whim. When Stalin didn't like you, you stopped existing and were erased from pictures. That was really interesting.

 I met up with my sister and since it was her last day I told her to pick the absolute one thing she wanted to see and she picked the Statue park. So we went there and to Sparrow hills and then I went to THE CIRCUS. Yes, I did in fact see bears riding bicycles and motorcycles, but no unicycles. When the bears came out they looked like people in bear suits, but they were bears. It was so weird. I felt really bad for them. And the thought of a bear being able to ride a motorcycle with a Russian flag trailing behind it just scares me for some reason. There were also acrobats, jugglers, trapeze artists, and a horse show called Zorro. It was like a play with horses. It wasn't nearly as good as the first half. Then I took my sister to her train to St. Petersburg and nearly cried leaving her on the train. I was so sad to see her go.

Friday I went to see Cinderella (Золушка) the ballet. I was super excited about it and we all got dressed up fancy for the occasion. I am shamed to admit it, but I feel asleep for about three minutes during the first act. The music was so good, and I hadn't slept all week that I feel asleep for a bit. I couldn't help it! Thank god the man next to me coughed really loudly to wake me when the fairy godmother gave Cinderella her shoes. It was really good. There were dancing teapots, a hilarious king riding a giant golden tricycle, and the prince had an insane amount of glitter in his hair. The costumes and decorations were gorgeous, and the music and dancing was phenomenal. Cinderella was absolutely gorgeous. Dear God I want to go back.

Well next week we go to St. Petersburg. Until then, do svendanya bitches.

Victory Day and Other Stuff

So today is the 10th of May. My dearest sister is flying in tomorrow afternoon. I am both nervous, and excited for her to come. I'm nervous because I'm afraid I will somehow fuck up in retrieving her. Excited because who's sister is this cool to come visit you while you're abroad? Also, I'm excited to actually do something after this long weekend. I have been literally sitting around since Saturday afternoon doing nothing. I would have class tomorrow, but I'm picking up my wonderful sister from the airport. What a shame.

Where did we leave off? Last Wednesday my group went to the Central Armed Forces Museum. I'm not really big into war stuff, so I was bored most of the time. Plus this excursion was entirely in Russian so I was zoning in and out. I was surprised because the museum literally has boxes, and boxes, and boxes of Nazi badges. They took all the badges and Nazi paraphernalia from the dead Nazis and put them on displays like trophies. Like the Nazi badges are deer antlers that you put on the wall. I was a little disturbed by the amount of Nazi badges. I don't feel sorry for the Nazi's, but it was still disturbing. One cool thing the museum had were stuff on women snipers during WWII. They also had a piece from the submarine K-141 Kursk. This was described to us later as one of the most horrifying events of the Russia Federation. Basically the submarine sunk to the ocean floor and Russia didn't have anything big enough to lift it up. England and Norway tried to help, but Putin said no and everyone on board died. Very happy museum.

Later that day, me and another girl from the group went a saw a soccer match. It was an interesting experience to say the least. The game was Lokomotiv vs. the Red Army (ЦСКА). Dasha warned me to be careful, which made me nervous about the ordeal. When we came out of the metro there were cops everywhere. I have never in my life seen that much crowd control. After going through maybe three lines of policemen, we finally made it to the gate. Our professor bought our tickets and they said 'Control' on them. Nothing to worry about right? Wrong. When we gave our tickets to the guy at the gate, they freaked out. They kept asking where we got the tickets. I kept telling them my professor bought them for us. They let us in the first gate to our relief. Then we walked all the way around the stadium until, after asking nearly everyone where our section was, we found it. We gave our tickets to the girl at the gate who again questioned our tickets. Where the hell did my professor find these god forsaken tickets? An official came down, showed us the real tickets, and ended up letting us in the stadium anyways (thank God). They took our tickets and told the guys guarding the section to remember our faces. 

So after much fussing we made it to our seats. I was ready to get drunk, which is the only way to watch soccer. We saw people with cups of yellow liquid, so we decided to get some beer at halftime. We go to the concession stand, ready to get some beers, when I see people with beer colored liquid, only it's tea. What is this bullshit? I had to watch the game completely sober. I picked the Red Army and they won 3-0. As we left the stadium there was even more crowd control, with a clear line of policemen leading us to the metro. I guess I understand the crowd control. These people set fires in the stands. 

Didn't really do much until Saturday night. Me and another girl while speaking to each other in English in a bathroom met another girl. She's crazy and invited us out Saturday. Everyone in our group except one went out. That makes for six Americans on the prowl. First we went to a Kafe where I had a shot of cognac (which I've drank more of here than vodka) and three shots of vodka in probably an hour. Then we were whisked off to another bar. I had two beers and this bar was fucking awesome. This bar had a circular bar which rotated. It blew my drunk mind. I think I danced a bit before being whisked off to go to the Bolshoi theater (no idea why). It is here I would like to comment on the crazy Russian drivers. Russian are awful drivers. They will ride on other cars asses, brake at the last minute, get in the other lane while there's oncoming traffic, and sometimes ride on the curb. They literally jerk you in every which way possible. For some god forsaken reason, I ended up in the middle seat. You can see the equation forming in your head. Drunk Tessa + crazy Russian cab driver = someone is about to puke. I started to feel really sick with all the jerking around this cab driver was doing. Thank God we finally stopped. I ran out of the car, went behind a bus stop, and puked in public. Literally two spits and I was done. Then after hanging around Bolshoi theater for who knows why, we went to another club where I indulged in a Strongbow (Rose Mantel would be proud). Then we hung about there until about 5, waited for the metro to open at 5:30AM and I went home and passed out.

Did nothing Sunday, studied Monday, nothing Tuesday, then Wednesday day came. Wednesday was VICTORY DAY! It's one of Russia's favorite holidays. It celebrates the defeat of the Nazis in WWII and The Great Patriotic War (two entirely different, but similar things). The day the Nazis were defeated is known as the day that Russia ran out of vodka. It's that big. The whole week before, people parade around town in their orange and black ribbons. These ribbons are the ribbons of St. George, and a sign of victory. While this holiday is meant for celebration, it has a dark side to it as well. Stalin completely disregarded human lives in order to win the war. Number 1, Stalin is an idiot to begin with. What did he really think was going to happen when he agreed to take over Poland with Germany? Oh, we get this territory, but now we share a border with the Nazis. That sounds good right? His Order No. 270. This order basically stated that if a Soviet is found attempting to desert or surrender to the enemy to be killed on the spot. Stalin declared, "There are no Soviet prisoners of war, only traitors." You become a traitor basically by living. If for some reason you were the one person to survive out of your entire set of troops, you were a traitor. Then he made Order No. 227, which states that the front line would consisted of traitors from previous order, and that there would also be barrier troops who shot at anyone trying to flee the scene. Basic picture, you would have two lines of Soviet soldiers. One made of fake traitors to actually attack the Nazis, the other to attacks the Soviets if they try to not attack the Nazis. A lot of soldiers died due to Stalin's cruelty, and knowing the true history behind this holiday makes it feel strange to actually celebrate it. 

All the leftover Lenins and Stalins.

There's a parade every on the morning of Victory Day every year. My host apparently tried to wake me up for it, but I just slept right on through it. It's basically a bunch of tanks and military personnel marching along. I went to an internet cafe in the afternoon, and was told by a man who spoke English that it rained everyday on Victory Day. I can only imagine why. He said they sprayed cement in the air to absorb the rain so that during the parade people could stay dry. I didn't know that was even possible! Two other girls and I ended up going to Park Pobedi (Victory Park), which was entirely too crowded. We ended up going to a sculpture garden of all the fallen Soviet statues. They have an entire wall dedicated to the heads of these sculptures. It's actually a pretty cool place to chill out.

And for me to look like an idiot...

 Then two of us went to Sparrow Hills to watch the fireworks. Literally ten minutes of Russians shouting "Hip Hip Hoorah!" and "Ru-ssi-ah!" with red, green, and white fireworks exploding above the trees. It was quite a sight with all the boats on the water and all the people dressed in their Soviet military hats waving their Russian flags under the bridge. It's something I don't think I will ever forget.

Today we went to Leo Tolstoy's house. The first thing I've actually had to commit myself to doing all week. Did anyone know that Leo had 13 kids. The guys got 205 living descendants. As our advisor said, "He was a very productive guy." You can say that again. The house has 16 rooms, and a bear cub that collects visitor's business cards. We couldn't take pictures without paying 360 rubles (too much) so we didn't. We did have to wear shoes that went over our normal shoes. The shoes were so slippery that it made it so we were ice skating on the wooden floor. We were told all about Tolstoy, his family, and his philosophy later in life. Then we strolled through the garden in the back where he planted the trees himself. 

As always, do svedanya bitches.

Always Ready!

So the other day, most of us went to conversation hour with a group of Russian students learning English. They were putting on a fairy tale play for their last class. So we went, the play was pretty good and we thought we could leave. No such luck. We were ushered back into the room where a guy stood up in front of the class and started talking about Lenin's birthday, October children, and Young Pioneers. All us Americans started looking at each other thinking, "What the hell is going on?" Before we know, it we're all standing in front of the class wearing red boy scout hats, scarves, and a pin with Lenin saying, 'Всегда Готов!' meaning, 'Always Prepared'. We had to do a special salute and sing a song. It was the strangest thing I've ever encountered. We later learned that Young Pioneers was a USSR organization that everyone had to join when they were 10. We think they were trying to show us their culture. Then again I wonder, did I become a Communist today? If you want to learn more:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Young_Pioneer_organization_of_the_Soviet_Union

This week was sort of hectic. Wednesday we were supposed to go to the Icon Museum and couldn't because a pipe burst and the museum was closed. Most of us weren't too sad about it. The bad thing was that we had class everyday this week, even Wednesday and Saturday. We had to do this because of the May Day holiday and us getting Monday and Tuesday off. May Day holiday is a leftover Soviet holiday to celebrate labor and spring. Sunday we went out of the city to see two ancient towns, Vladimir and Suzdal.

Usually this is a river. Now it's a swamp! YAY!

It was really nice to get outside of the city and breath in some fresh air, despite the five hour bus ride with traffic. The people are much more pleasant outside the city and happier. We were in only Vladimir for probably a total of an hour, but it was nice. When Russia used to be a bunch of princely estates Kiev used to be the capital, and then moved to Vladimir in the late 1100's. Vladimir has some great churches (it's Russia after all).

This is the front of the Dormition Cathedral aka Church of the Assumption Cathedral in Vladimir. It is THE church of medieval Russia. Andrew the Pious, who moved the capital, commissioned it. Many princes of the time are interred here. There's a story that someone tried to open one of the crypts and that when they opened it the crypt was on fire. There's an entire fresco dedicated to it and everything. There's also some saint buried here. I forget who but you can see his hand. The bell tower in the front was added in the 19th century and used during Soviet times for parachute jumping (until they realized it wasn't high enough). The inside of the cathedral has frescos painted by Russia's favorite iconist Andrei Rublev. He is known as the greatest iconist because he depicted the saints not at Byzantine (or Grecian), but as Russians. Many of his works have been lost and the frescos here are treasured.  

CLOSE UP

Next there is the Cathedral of Saint Demetrius. This Cathedral is famous for its white stone carvings on the outside that depict the story of King David. It has many lions on it, even though Russians have never seen lions. It also has Heracles stories on it (not entirely sure why). Inside there's threads from some saint's clothing (you could kill me I don't remember).

I know this picture is awful, but the facades of Russian
houses are like out of a fairy tale. So cool.

After that we went to SUZDAL! Suzdal is fucking awesome. Our advisor described it perfectly, that it's like a toy. They have a wooden architecture museum there with wooden churches. SO PRETTY. Who could ever think that they could make circular onion domes out of wood?

Then we saw even more churches! This beauty is called the Cathedral of the Nativity. It's domes are too beautiful to exclude. We also went into a convent where there was a concert in the bell tower, and another concert by some monks, which was really beautiful. Consequently, this excursion was on the same day as a guy in our groups birthday. Some of us bought honey beer (so delicious) to drink on the bus on the way home. Some of us (myself) brought vodka and Schweppes to drink on the way home. I offered some to our advisor, who thought I was kidding when I said I had vodka in my bag earlier. Sadly she declined thinking the bus driver would judge her. I was sad to leave Suzdal. I want to live in Suzdal, in these fairy tale houses, and drink honey beer for the rest of my life. Then again, they say if you drink too much honey beer, you'll try to stand and find your legs don't work. I didn't drink enough to find out.

The next day was perfect weather so me and some others in our group went to the Moscow zoo where we saw this:

AND I GOT TO PET THIS! (the Moscow Zoo has the shittiest barriers I've ever seen in a zoo)

Otherwise the zoo was kinda shitty. It was crowded with children and had a shit ton of birds that we couldn't care less about. Plus we missed the Dolphinarium, which is their main attraction. I mean, once you've been to the Columbus Zoo, not much can top it I guess. We ended entertaining ourselves for day with Sammy.

I paid more for this damn balloon than I did for the zoo ticket. This balloon is the size of a German Shepherd. It's the most obnoxious thing in the world and I took it everywhere with me. 

To see it's relatives,

On the metro (I got the best looks and laughs on the escalators), and to Sparrow Hills. Speaking of Sparrow Hills,

View from the top

Sparrow hills is one of the highest points in Moscow. There's a hill with a shit ton of woods so you can hike up to the top. It's a nice change of scenery for Moscow. We're definitely coming back. We climbed to the top, then went back down to the river to watch the sunset.

All in all, it was a pretty awesome day in Moscow. Do svedanya, bitches.